Heartlist...
What a Coincidence!

Today, I found out my mentor teacher is Christian. She never told me that she was one, but I figured from her biography on her website, which listed her undergraduate university—-Vanguard. My student teacher partner also told me that she has a Bible app on her iPad, so I think it’s confirmed.

That explains why she’s so forgiving. I admit, I am not the best student teacher. Early in the program, I was very inexperienced and lacked a lot of confidence. I made stupid mistakes that made me question why students still saw me as an authority figure. Yet, she was and continues to be so very patient with me. She is very encouraging, accommodating and extremely patient.

I have not been going to church consistently. In fact, it’s been nearly two years now since I last went consistently.

However, it’s interesting that the majority of my friends (from high school and college) happen to be Christian. It’s interesting that the majority of my fellow student teacher friends happen to be Christian (which I found out later in our friendship). It’s also interesting that my student teacher partner is Christian.

The icing on the cake? My mentor teacher is Christian!

Wow, God…I guess even when I sometimes want to abandon You, You keep surrounding me with good brothers and sisters!

I’ll go back to church eventually…just not right now. No, not yet.

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2012-01-14, 7:43PM

ring-wraiths:

so it has come to my attention that a lot of my friends and followers aren’t familiar with lotr so i thought i’d change that

there’s more

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

^ I don’t really reblog, but I stumbled upon this and it was pure gold. My first time watching LOTR, it was about two years ago and I did a crazy marathon with church buddies. This was a fun movie, and this silly Tumblr post certainly hits all the…observations :)

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2012-12-31, 1:39PM

Self Improvement

She’s successful. Good job and makes the most of her whole family, yet she can’t say that she’s absolutely happy. She’s such a sweet girl. She’s also single. She explained that she wants to get her “stuff” together before she can let someone into her life. Self improvement before self fulfillment? Sounds like a good plan, unless you’re overly self critical or someone comes into your life out of nowhere, which happens sometimes.

I know another girl. Absolutely brilliant. She’s gorgeous, hilarious and seriously seems to light up a room with her presence. With her too, it seems like self improvement comes first…but there’s a person on the horizon for her and she seems happier because of him.

Self improvement before self fulfillment. One can lead to the other or vice-versa, but I think the former before the latter is the better choice of the two. Admittedly, a relationship can get in the way of a lot of things, but people jump in because they do want to find a “partner in crime.”

Former over latter is also the harder of the two. Could they be done simultaneously without the workaholic attitude (because I guess some people get a huge kick out of work)? Possibly, but that’s a hard balance unless most of your “stuff” is together already.

On another note, my goodness, two more days before my exam…here I come! Gotta get my “stuff” together for this.
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2012-12-19, 8:45AM

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try try try
Pink’s “Try” (it’s so inspirational, just like her!)
Heartlist

Since I haven’t done one of these in a while…

*MY GOODNESS. I’m so beat, even after a nap. Why am I still up? My panda eyes will be forever etched onto my skin.

*No. Yes. Maybe. No! …Yes. …Maybe? I don’t know how I feel about you, but I’d rather be indifferent than anything else. It’s simpler that way.

*CATL. I never really did like cats.

*RICA, baby, you’re the reason why I’ll be alone in my apartment until the 21st. Merry Christmas to you too!

*When several men come together, magic happens. #maleacapellagroupsrock. <—Because people on FB are into that kind of thing now. I’ve also been listening to Pandora’s Whippenpoofs station (from Sing-off) and as a result, I’m being introduced to a whole mess of male acapella groups and songs. Love, love, love that rich sound. I think that’s why I kind of liked K-pop, but this is the unadulterated stuff.

*You’re one of my first buddies in this program. I hope you don’t leave us, but I’ll support you all the way if you do. You’re just so sweet.

*You’re always smiling, but I can tell you’ve got a lot going on underneath. I wish I could help, and I will where I can—-like today!

*I’d like a biking buddy to explore trails with who can keep up with me or push me to pedal faster. I know you can handle it. But I think it’d be too weird if I asked you. Hm. Wait, I have a roomie that bikes!

*I’ll miss you when you’re gone after this quarter. Really, really miss you. Who else is going to make me laugh by being so over-dramatic?

*Running into you today was weird. A blast from the past. Were you afraid of me or in a rush? Or just really, really awkward because we haven’t talked in ages?

*I tease you and vice-versa, but as much as it makes you cringe, I’m serious when I say that I’m blessed to work with you.

*Glad it was nothing serious. I can’t wait to start working out again after all this craziness in the program.

*Panda eyes dying. Time to call it a night.

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2012-12-05, 10:38PM

Darn that Domain!

This would be the second day where I stayed up unecessarily super late because of a new website I’m developing. My hope had always been for my own blog with the possibility of expanding it to a side business in crafts and jewelry, so I finally made my own unique domain name after a friend explained the process to me.

I’m still learning a lot about all this…networking and domain name stuff. Either way, I can only see fun times ahead. With the Internet, there are many possibilities and you just have to see them and reach for them!

As for the future of this Tumblr account, I might just have to do some redirecting. We’ll see :)

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2012-12-03, 3:24AM

The Rainbow Sandwich

As I sit here, waiting for my hair to dry, what I will now describe as the ice cream truck scenario comes to my mind.

Envision an ice cream truck rolls into your neighborhood (assuming it’s “ghetto” enough). You’re excited, so you run up and line up with all the other kids. When it’s finally your turn, you’re told that there’s only a few flavors left, and none of them were the flavors you preferred.

You stare in disbelief. WHAT? SERIOUSLY?

The ice cream man hands you an ice cream. HANDS it to you. You don’t even need to look at it to know you don’t want it. You don’t want something forced on you.

You waited your turn, so you figure you should at least be a little open minded and try one of the flavors. You peer in…and nothing really catches your eye.

But wait! What’s that shiny thing over there? You ask to take a look at the Rainbow Sandwich because it’s so weird that you just had to take a closer look. Hmm…so it’s got all the colors and maybe all the flavors? Cool. Interesting. You might want to try this.

However, it’s like your gut literally tells you, “Dude, don’t do it. Heartburn’s waiting for you.” You stare at the wrapper, knowing you felt there was something off about the Rainbow Sandwich too. Look at all the colors! It’s too tacky…but it piques your curiosity. So you feel half-and-half about it. You’re not sure you want something like this, but then again, you’ve never tried something like this. One second, you’re like Yeah, I think I just maybe, miiiight try this despite my initial feelings and the next, Uh, nooo thank you.

So you distract yourself and the ice cream man by chatting it up a bit while you let the Rainbow Sandwich sit there as you make up your mind. When you finally turn your attention back to the thing, you’re still feeling half-and-half.

You pick it up and decide to read the nutrition facts. At first glance, not bad. It won’t kill you. However, as you acquaint yourself with the rest of the nitty-gritty’s, you find partially hydrogenated oils in it. OH MY GOD. You might clog your heart with that thing! You peer into the ice cream truck, wondering if there’s a defibrillator anywhere. You stare at the nutrition facts. Is it worth the (most likely temporary) fun of eating rainbows?! You turn the Rainbow Sandwich around again and scratch your head as it melts.

Gut feeling still tells you NO, for one reason or another. It might not be the partially hydrogenated oils. It might be something else. Heck, it might be a deadly combo.

Gut feeling’s usually spot-on.

…But who doesn’t love rainbows? You get intrigued by them at first, but you end up chasing wind.

AND there’s no pot of gold at the end.

Well, at least it’s fun.

You finally decide to hand the Rainbow Sandwich back to the nice ice cream man whose name you found out was Bob Saget. You decide that if you really want to try the Rainbow Sandwich, you’ll let “fate” do its thing, however that may look. For now, the nutrition facts and your gut say no.

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2012-11-24, 1:19AM

Two Pairs of Jeans

While trying to decide on domain names and simultaneously prepping for my Black Friday camera choices (my yearly “ritual” that never comes to fruition), I am reminded of one of the singular things I learned from positive psychology:

More choices make us more miserable.

He shared that back in his day, he only had two choices for jeans when he walked in the store. This one or this one? Nowadays, he says there are different washes, different cuts, different brands, etc. He says he can’t help but wonder if he picked THE best pair of jeans when he does go jean shopping every 7 odd years or so.

I agree. I am an extremely indecisive person and having to make decisions take a long time. Even now, I haven’t decided on what domain names I want to purchase or what type of camera I want (DSLR or ILC, what brand, what type of lens, etc.).

I might end up with nothing. Sometimes, that happens and it’s for the better. Well, at least there’s still time…I just shouldn’t spend TOO MUCH time on deciding.

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2012-11-21, 2:41PM

Time

As I hear about people getting engaged or married, and as I work with kids, the significance of the unknown amount of time left in my life is occasionally brought to the forefront. We always think we have a tomorrow, but as freak accidents and life tells you, tomorrow is never really guaranteed. We need to love life and live it to the fullest with no regrets. Make mistakes and learn from them. Make plans and learn from them. Learn to love what you learn because we learn something every day about ourselves and the world we live in. As a study break, I decided to do a tad bit of “spoken word” poetry about this: 

Time

Reeling forward as it ticks on the clock like an invisible hand,

My face jumbled with numbers and I’m left to wonder where I stand.

Did I do what I wanted to do? I look at the robots, clowns at school

Working like ants ‘til the day they die. No wait, that state, is that fate mine in due

Time

Passes me by and I can’t help it. I look away a minute but it’s an hour now,

As I watch kids grow up, know up, love up and get settled down.

I feel like I know them, but I realize I know just the shadows of a memory

Flowing forever in the Styx of my mind. Gotta move on and live my life before I run out of

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2012-11-17, 6:48PM

Time for CHANGE?

It felt like my birthday. I had that strange, uncomfortable but relatively desirable excitement at the pit of my stomach when I found out that Obama won. I would liken that to…hmm…a notch below that sickling/happy feeling you get when you’re around that one person that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster (I know, I’m such a romantic).

What can I say? I indirectly owe a lot to Obama for a personal matter. Although I admittedly did not vote for him four years ago because I was uninformed and thought to stick to a candidate from my registered party (Republican), the man has since grown on me the past four years.

I voted for him without a second thought, but I did go back twice just to make sure I had the right guy checked off.

It’s hard being a President, especially the President of US, the U.S.

On a side note, my third grade class was so darn adorable today. They talked about the presidential candidates with such gusto, you just knew they were rehashing what their parents thought. The cutest part was when they participated in a mock voting poll that took place in the computer lab. My student teacher partner had set up a poll on our mentor teacher’s website that the kids could access—-but only AFTER they read a double-sided page about Obama and Romney. I was really surprised that they actually did read both sides and took their time before they voted; it seems like the idea of being an informed voter went across really well. Hopefully, they will at least carry that aspect with them when they can finally vote approximately a decade from now (oh geez…I feel old already!).

There was also this one kid that just really melted my heart. Granted, I was already super fond of him (and I know we’re not supposed to be), but he always catches me off guard with his insightful comments. When we were at the rug and my mentor teacher was explaining what we would do in the computer lab, his hands shot up and he asked, “Will our votes be added to the National Census Bureau?”

Forget Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?! Try Are You Smarter Than A Third Grader?

During my partner’s PE lesson, for a bean-tossing activity, there was a box with my partner’s last name, one with Obama and one with Romney. I overheard that same kid talking about how he disliked Mr. [insert my partner’s name here] and made quite an outburst. Curious, I asked him why and he realized that Mr. ___ was the same one we knew and said something to the likes of, “I didn’t realize it was him! I thought it was some other guy; I thought it was some presidential idiot!” I was so shocked, I laughed at his comment when I shouldn’t have. In retrospect, I told myself that I should have said something like, “[Student name here], what you just said was NOT appropriate! You don’t use words like that!” Yet…the way he said it and the look on his face caught me off guard.

I lost my “teacher face” in an instance.

While Obama makes a change, I need to make a change too. Toughen up, girl! Work on your TEACHER FACE!

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2012-11-06, 11:55PM